My music seems to mostly be affected by my internal state of mind, regardless of my surroundings. Yes, gazing out the window at what I have here can calm me immensely, but ultimately it’s my inner calm or my inner turmoil that gets expressed by the notes.

I agree with you about being inspired by commissions for specific people; that’s always wonderful and can lead to some very personal pieces. I’m lucky to have a steady stream of that kind of motivation, but again, the bottom line for me seems to be that the inspiration can just as readily come from the chaos I miraculously self-generate! Some of my most Zen-like, static pieces were composed amidst absolute din and insanity, and some of my most frenetic works were conceived during outward times of great peace. Go figure.

You must have been here this past week when I didn’t quite manage a shower each and every day because of working too hard. You’re absolutely right: long-dead composers smelled a LOT better than I did at the end of the day!!

A more serious question – do you find your music is affected by the slower pace of your new surroundings? Some composers seem to thrive on excitement and tension. Or perhaps the association with other like-minded musicians? I find I write with certain performers in mind and do best when there is the prospect of a piece being played. Do you feel cut off from this kind of motivation at all?

Also, I feel I must take issue with you on this: at some point dead composers probably do smell better than live ones.

Just sayin.

Unabashedly

On any given day
in any given order,
my emotions span a very wide range.
No, I’m neither depressed,
manic nor schizophrenic
at least, not officially).

But I am deeply aware:
sensitive to the extremes
of joy and pain
on this little planet of ours.

In the midst of such a spectrum,
we need beauty and truth
for our sanity.
I try to create an open conduit
for these qualities through music,
hoping that the sounds
will elicit a similar response from you
as that which spurred me
to string these notes together.

Uneasy melancholy,
anger and despair,
quirky acceptance and calm,
and finally, yes,
complete elation.
This is just a glimpse
of the world around us,
on any given day…
in any given order.

In art we can put these emotions forth
in a very specific order
if we so choose,
and in a very direct manner.
We can communicate as passionately
and blatantly as we wish.
And I do.
Unabashedly.

Alex Shapiro 2006